Most of us experience grief as a mixed bag of physical sensations and thoughts – usually in the form of a story we tell ourselves over and over. It is easy to get stuck in the cycle, but ruminating is rarely helpful.
One skillful response is to give your mind a place to rest that is either neutral or positive, as we do with focusing and relaxation meditations.
At some point, however, you will be ready to explore your difficult emotions mindfully in order to reduce your suffering and gain insight.
Turning Toward What Hurts
In the Self-Kindness Mantra Roadmap, you learn how to treat yourself with kindness and care. The meditation in this lesson takes this practice one step further by inviting you to get really intimate with exactly how you feel.
The meditation practice is called R.A.I.N., and it was created by Michele McDonald and made popular by contemporary meditation teachers like Tara Brach and Sharon Salzberg. It is beloved for a reason – this is one of the most transformational practices there are.
Recognize: Name what you are feeling (if you can).
Allow: Choose to observe with compassion if it feels safe.
Investigate: Experience what you are feeling in your body rather than focus on the story. Ask yourself, "What am I believing to be true?"
Nurture: Offer yourself care and kindness, perhaps using your self-kindness mantra, self-touch, or reaching out to a friend for support.
R.A.I.N. Meditation
This guided meditation will help you explore difficult emotions as physical experiences in your body. The point of this exercise is to witness the difficult emotions without pushing them away or clinging to them. Notice how the emotions feel in this moment, and to whatever extent it is possible let go of the story and touch into direct physical experience.
If you become overwhelmed, turn your focus solely to your breath. If you feel this practice is adding to your suffering, open your eyes and end the meditation. You can always try again at a later time.
The meditation concludes with a brief compassion practice and reflection prompt.
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INTRODUCTION
PRACTICE