If you have noticed that your internal dialogue is extra critical during bereavement, you are not alone. It is if when we feel bad our habitual response is to treat ourselves as if we are bad. There are many reasons why this happens, including your upbringing, societal norms, and the unfortunate stigma associated with certain types of loss. Unfortunately at the precise time we could really use an extra dose of kindness, those we usually depend on may not be able to give us what we need.

One of – if not THE – most important things you can do to help yourself when you are grieving is to treat yourself like you are your own best friend. You are going through a really difficult time right now, and you deserve the care and tenderness that you would offer to a beloved friend in need.  This practice applies the principles of self-compassion – mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness – to help you change how you relate to your own suffering.

It may feel a little odd at first – especially if you have experienced a lifetime of self-deprecation. But with practice and patience, this will become one of your most important tools in your toolkit – and may even feel like a superpower.