No Permanent Self

The idea that there is no "self" can be disorienting in a culture where the "self" is revered. And yet the Buddhist principle of anatta - or non-self - can be quite liberating. When we become over-identified in our role or our beliefs, we can face great suffering when that role or belief is challenged. And grief certainly does challenge all of our roles and many of our beliefs.

The idea of no permanent self isn't a nihilistic one but rather one of spaciousness and freedom. Instead of having to fit into a nice, neat box with a bow and live up to unreasonable standards (only to feel shame when you "fail"), you are free to experience the ebb and flow of life, embracing whatever arises moment to moment.

If you have been practicing meditation, you have no doubt experienced the impermanence of the things we often identify as concrete. Your mood. Your personality. Your relationships. Your thoughts. Your bodily sensations. Once you get in touch with the nuances of each precious moment, you start to recognize that you, too, are a moving, shifting, spacious being.

Who Am I?

One classic way to get in touch with the idea of "no self" is to ask over and over again, "Who am I?" The mind will provide all sorts of concrete answers - a mother, a nurse, a happy person, hungry, angry - but what we find is that we can't pin down exactly who we are.

The practice below is designed to begin the conversation with your ever-changing self and hone in on your positive aspirations. You may not be able to answer each question now, but let it settle into your subconscious.

Practice this meditation often throughout your life - it will change each and every time!