There are no set stages of grief, but there are many models that are based on the idea that while grief is a very personal experience, there are some experiences that most people have in common. 

William Worden's four-task model is one that inspired Mindfulness & Grief. The tasks do not need to be addressed in a particular order, though you will probably see some order in how they are offered. Do not worry if you do not feel you have addressed all four - this is to give you scaffolding as you move forward. 

Each task is outlined below, followed by a reflection prompt for you to consider how each one relates to your grief experience.

Task 1: Accept The Reality Of The Loss

When someone dies it is natural to have a sense that it hasn't really happened, even when the death is expected. One of the first things many of us do is recount the last time we saw the person. "I just talked to him the other day." "She called me just this morning." Searching and yearning are frequent behaviors in the first hours, days, weeks, even months. Worden's first task of grief is for us to come to terms with that, at least in this life, we will not be physically reunited with the person who died.

Task 2: Process The Pain Of Grief

The pain of grief is vast. Physical, emotional, and behavioral pain manifest, and at times we may not believe we will ever make it through. While the intensity of pain will vary from person to person, it is understandable that when we lose someone we love, pain is inevitable. The tools you have in your toolkit support you in turning toward your pain, giving yourself a break when you need it, and even learning how to bear what once felt unbearable. While the pain of your loss will reappear from time to time throughout your life, the hope is that the intensity and duration of your pain will become less intense while love will only grow.

Task 3: Adjust To A World Without The Deceased

This task includes three types of adjustments:

External adjustments:

How we function in our everyday life. This includes learning to live without the person in our life, taking on and relinquishing roles, and coming to terms with all the secondary losses that extend beyond the death itself.

Internal adjustments:

How the death impacts our sense of self. Bereavement can impact our self-definition, self-esteem, and sense of self-efficacy (our ability to control what happens in our life). Two questions you can ask yourself is "Who am I now?" and "How am I different because I love them?" (Attig, 2011).

Spiritual adjustments:

How our beliefs, values, and assumptions about the world are impacted.

Task 4: Find An Enduring Connection With The Deceased In The Midst Of Embarking On A New Life

The memories you have are already part of your life and will not go away. You learn how to incorporate the narrative of your relationship into your life as you move forward, without letting that story be your only focus. If you can talk about the person who died with friends and family, it can be very helpful. Daily rituals and celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, and other milestones where they are not present with a focus on meaning can help you continue the connection while still living your own life.