The Impact of Grief
When a loved one dies, our spiritual views are usually either reinforced or changed. During this exercise, you will have the opportunity to explore how your experience of the death of your loved one has impacted both your worldview and your spiritual beliefs. Keep in mind that spiritual does not necessarily have to do with religion, although for you it may. Spiritual in this context is the idea that there is a bigger picture - something greater than yourself. For some this may be rooted in theology, for others nature, or kindness, or something else altogether.
It is natural to ask the question "Why?" For some of us the answer to that question is clear. For others, it is a lifelong quest. Some of us are able to get comfortable with not knowing "why." As with spirituality, your answer to the question "why" is very personal. The answer may be "I don't know," and if that is your truth, that is your truth.
Reflect On Your Grief Journey
Meditate before and after: It is recommended that you practice the Daily Mindfulness Practice prior to this exercise, and you may wish to follow it with one of the focusing practices from Module 1, or the Tonglen Meditation for Universal Suffering meditation from this week's lessons.
This is very deep work, and may not be appropriate until well after the early months of grief. You may want to skim these questions first. If it feels as if this is not the time to answer them, don't. They will be here when you are ready.
As you work through this practice, maintain a sense of equanimity and mindfulness. If it becomes too overwhelming, stop, and find your way to ground yourself - by taking a walk or engaging in focusing practices. Use the R.A.I.N. technique as needed while you explore these questions. Pay attention to your breath as you reflect on the following in your journal:
- How did you make sense of the death when it happened, and how do you interpret the loss now?
- What philosophical or spiritual beliefs have influenced your grief experience?
- Have those philosophical or spiritual beliefs changed in any way?
- How has your grief experience impacted your sense of priorities?
- How has loving this person impacted your life?
- Is there anything you need to do that would help foster healing, either spiritually or philosophically?
This exercise can also be reviewed with a beloved friend, trusted family member, or in a therapy session.
Questions adapted from Robert Neimeyer's Meaning Reconstruction Interview in Lessons of Loss.