Author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” As humans, however, we are hardwired to armor our hearts in order to protect ourselves from pain and disappointment.

And yet anyone who has ever loved another being knows firsthand the gift of vulnerability. Vulnerability, in fact, is the prerequisite to love and other positive emotions.

When we are grieving we can feel especially vulnerable. We already know that love can lead to loss, and yet we know that love remains.

One Layer At A Time

We put on our armor for things big and small.

This week, as you move through your daily life, pay attention to the moments where you “armor up.” If you feel safe enough, see if you can peel off at least one layer of the armor.

Whether it’s facing a difficulty or embracing something new, take one step toward becoming comfortable with vulnerability and watch what unfolds with equanimity. This might mean having a difficult conversation with someone or asking for help. Or you might meet a potential new friend for coffee, join a book group, or walk into a yoga class for the first time.

Whether you remove your armor is not the most important thing in this exercise. The key is to bring awareness to the different ways in which you guard yourself and then make a mindful choice. Just acknowledging that the armor is there is the first step to letting it go.