“…People with higher levels of self-compassion are also more likely to engage in perspective taking when contemplating the failures and weaknesses of other people. They are more likely to say things like: ‘Before criticizing somebody, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place.’ By its very nature, compassion is relational, stepping back and forth between various perspectives to see the mutuality of the human condition.” (p. 191)

“By teaching our children to have self-compassion, we can help them deal with the inevitable pain and imperfection of life. By being compassionate to ourselves, we can better handle the frustrations and difficulties of parenting….” (p. 207)

“Self-compassion tends to inspire positive rather than destructive emotions during relationship conflicts. When we’re upset over a relationship issue, self-compassion allows us to soothe and calm the intensity of our feelings, meaning we’re better able to reign in the four horsemen [criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling (Gottman)].” (p. 226)

Daily Meditation Practice For Part 4

• Loving-Kindness Meditation [20 minutes]
• Noting Your Emotions [18 minutes]
• Soften, Soothe, Allow: Working with Emotions in the Body [15 minutes]
• Compassionate Body Scan [24 minutes]
• Self-Compassion/Loving-Kindness Meditation (Directing Lovingkindness Toward Our Suffering) [20 minutes]

Self-Compassion Exercises For Part 4

• Taking Care Of the Caregiver (p. 193)
• Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt Us (p. 200)
• Having Compassion for Our Mistakes As Parents (p. 210)
• Taking a “Time-In” With Your Child  (p. 215)
• Identifying Your Relationship Patterns (p. 224)
• Take a Self Compassion Break (p. 234)
• Releasing Sexual Shame (p. 239)

Bring to Class

Your favorite quote or insight from Part 4.